Bullitt's Bros

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Everything

So Mom and I went to Dorothy Lane Market late last night. It was around 2am or so. Mom bought some chocolate covered raisins in a plastic container. The checkout lady was attempting to run them through the scanner and accidentally opened the box, spilling chocolate covered raisins all over the floor.

As we continued to ring up items, a guy who must have been 85 if he was a day came toddling up to buy some milk and a piece of cake. I am assuming 85 or so not just because he looked it, but also because he mentioned that he had been married for 60 years. The checkout lady warned him as he approached, "be careful, there are raisins on the floor." The old guy looked down, saw the raisins and said, "Now I've seen everything!"

This was an interesting sentiment to hear from a guy who had spent 85 years on this earth. I would figure that he ought to say something like, "Okay." Or, "That's annoying." Or even, "Better watch out for those spilled raisins."

As it is I have to assume one of two things. 1. He is a shut in who has lived in a closet (with his wife) for his entire life and this was the night he ventured out to try things beyond his wildest dreams. In this case, milk, cake, and spilled raisins. Or 2. This guy has seen everything. He has wrestled bears in the backwoods of Russia, he has surfed the biggest waves of Fiji, he was an astronaut and spent time in space. But somehow it was this event - the witnessing of spilled chocolate covered raisins - that he had never had the fortune to come across... until now. The last puzzle piece was finally in place and he had filled out the checklist of human experience.

I am going with the latter. God bless you, Biff Spaceman, and your lifetime of maximized human achievement.

And you're welcome.

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