Two funny things, and one of my typical, radical, right-wing political comments

I haven't posted in a while. So here goes.

The other day, this is the phone call I have with my parents:

Mom: llasjdfoauiwr
Me: ...What??

There was a lot of noise in the background, which explains why I couldn't hear her.

Mom: It's your father, he's making a racket!

Notice how when he's making a racket, he's "your father."

Mom: Nico, what are you doing?!
Dad: I'm making noise!

He said this like a ten-year old excited because he finally figured out cymbals.

***
I was sitting in my bedroom with Mom, watching American Idol on our HD TV. Dad comes in.

Dad: Robert, when you have time, I would like you ... to help me ... move ... an ... object.
Mom: What kind of object?
Dad: It is a piece ... of ... furniture.
Me: What kind of furniture?
Dad: It has shelves.
Mom: Nico, that doesn't answer the question!
Me: It's a desk. He wants me to move a desk.
Dad: It is not a desk.

Mom gets up and leaves, and also starts laughing.

Dad: Why are you laughing?
Mom: Because you can't answer a simple question.

I go downstairs to help Dad pick up and move the "object".

To be honest, I have no idea what to call this object. It had shelves, and it's a piece of furniture. That's about all I can tell you.

***
I just read this book called The Theocons: Secular American Under Siege. It's about the people who run the magazine, "First Things" (circulation: 30,000), and its sub-sub-title reads: "For the past three decades, a few determined men have worked to inject their radical religious ideas into the nation's politics. This is the story of how they succeeded." I have it admit, it was a terrifying read. Terrifying, of course, because it amazes me that a book so crappy and insignificant could have gotten a publisher, and doubly terrifying that I read the whole thing waiting for a punchline. I thought it was going to be Portnoy's Complaint 2: This Time It's Vercockte! The upshot of the book is that there's a bunch of right-wing Catholics who are trying to get laws passed, and so far they got one passed by Bush: the born-alive infant protection act, which makes it illegal (doubly illegal?) for hospitals to kill infants who are born. I tell you what, I'm scared. Oh yeah, there's also a bit where the author, Damon Linker, tries to get us nervous that Tom Monaghan, the founder of Domino's Pizza (doesn't it look delicious?), is trying to start an über-Catholic town, Naples, Florida, where pornography and birth control will be inaccessible. First the Amish and now Naples! It's only a matter of time before all of America is under Monaghan's sway.